I found The Gift of ADHD (2005) book a few years before I was diagnosed by a psychiatrist that specializes Women with ADD. Usually women go undiagnosed. This book changed my life. When my husband asked me after almost 27 years of marriage “is always being late and not able to get moving in the morning something ADHD?” Seriously, I wonder how many times I’ve mentioned these very traits I experience every day except when hyper-energized. He was asking this about a friend. Blow me over like a feather. I giggled (a lot).
This made me search for this book which I couldn’t locate but the newer book has added exercises proving even more useful to me, but will certainly enlighten my husband about what it’s like inside my head; only scary most of the time. Come on, jump in, the water’s fine.
A gentleman I chat with online via Words with Friends 2, after reading my vitriol accompanied by sharp humour, wondered if I’d ever considered being part of community governing. In his country referred to as council, in my country it’s municipal.
The short answer is I’ve likely considered just about every career you can think of. One of the difficulties is what to pursue, hence a winding, ever changing path to my ultimate career which I’ve recently semi-retired from and now plan to fill my free time (one hopes?) pursuing the creative stuff I’ve touched but not spent a lot of time on since starting my own business (2006). I’m still working with one client for the sole purpose of funding my travelling bug which I plan to satiate!
This most recent book, The Gift if Adult ADD, contains the introduction below which will give you a taste. If you’d like to get her audio, printed or electronic version you may source The gift of adult ADD : how to transform your challenges and build on your strengths by Lara Lonos-Webb
** I have not been asked to promote this book, nor will I receive any compensation, hence no link to a vendor source.
Enjoy this excerpt! I take credit for the lack of paragraph breaks (not how it’s actually printed), just too lazy to bother! The American version of certain words is outside my control and copied verbatim from the book. The Americans have their own version of written English. No offense meant.
Introduction
A radio show host once described my first book, The Gift of ADHD (2005), as applying the principles of the runaway best seller The Secret (Byrne 2006). While I am a fan of the basic ideas in The Secret, I felt defensive enough to explain that my book was published before The Secret. As a well-trained psychologist, I was afraid that my approach—applying clinical observation, sound theory, and established research on the power of self-fulfilling prophesies and optimism to understanding ADHD and ADD—would be trivialized as a spin-off of a popular fad. But I am struck by one important lesson that can be derived from The Secret’s law of attraction. According to the law of attraction, what you see in the present is created by the past. If you define reality by what you see in the present, you create a future that will be no different. If you want a different future, you have to change your perception of what you actually see now. This simple idea addresses one of the biggest challenges of applying the ideas detailed in The Gift of ADHD and The Gift of Adult ADD. Sometimes people with ADHD or ADD have such out-of-control symptoms that they don’t believe any gifts are present. To recognize and understand these gifts, you must first suspend your disbelief. You may look around you and see relationships difficulties, professional failures, and a trail of catastrophic mistakes caused by sloppiness. It is here that you must embrace the idea that what you’re presently seeing is created in part by not seeing the gifts. Finding and focusing on the gifts will create a different future for you. So, if you’re tempted to doubt, remember: Changing the way you see yourself will change you and your life. Don’t allow yourself to be distracted or derailed by what you see around you now. ADD and ADHD You may be wondering what ADD is and how it differs from ADHD. ADD stands for attention deficit disorder, ADHD for attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder. In my previous books, I used ADHD because that is the precise diagnostic term presently used in the bible of the field, The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (American Psychiatric Association [APA] 2000). Not only is ADD not, as of 2007, listed in this manual, the current system defines ADHD as a developmental disorder and does not presently include criteria for diagnosing adults. (The most authoritative method for diagnosing adult ADD is covered in chapter 1.) In this book, I’ve chosen to use ADD rather than ADHD because the hyperactivity component tends to be less troublesome for adults than it is for kids. Also, the term ADD is more widely used in the lay world, and thus more recognizable. It’s also less of a mouthful to say and read. Flexible Thinking As you read this book, I challenge you to practice flexible thinking. If an idea presented contradicts something you’ve heard elsewhere, rather than rigidly arguing about which viewpoint must be the correct one, ask yourself, “Is there a way both of these could be true?” For example, this book invites you to think optimistically about who you are and what you are capable of. You may at times resist this invitation, worrying that if you think only of the positive you won’t take responsibility for impulsive behaviors. Ask yourself, “Is there a way I can reframe my impulsiveness and still take responsibility for my behavior?” Push yourself to find ways to think in terms of “both-and” rather than “either-or.” Similarly, when you hear that you need to find a career that honors your ADD style, you may think, “Are you telling me I need to lower my standards?” No. Again, push yourself to find ways that you can both honor your ADD and raise your standards. There is no reason you can’t do both. In practice, as you stop trying to cram yourself into a mold that doesn’t work for you, you’ll move from simply fulfilling performance demands toward becoming a genius in your arena of interest. How to Use This Book Each chapter of this book contains one or more activities to help you learn more about yourself and apply the book’s ideas to your life. Since you have ADD, you will be tempted to skip over these. That’s fine, but if you want to make actual changes in your life, know that these activities will pay off. Consider buying yourself a special journal to use as you go through the book, both to work through these activities and to write your thoughts and ideas in. Each chapter also includes an inspirational story of someone who has achieved success not just in spite of but because of having ADD. Individuals profiled include Kimberly McCoy, a psychotherapist; Steve Goodchild, a successful businessman; Scott Ohlrich, a fire captain; Paul Orfalea, the founder of Kinko’s; Bill Jacobs Jr., a successful business owner; Damon Harper, a physical trainer and coach; Hagen, another successful entrepreneur; and Stephanie Moulton Sarkis, a writer and psychologist. I’ve also included the stories of “Mike,” a student of mine, and “Vishnu,” a client. I didn’t record these interviews but have included some re-creations of our conversations to give you a flavor of the live-action ADD style—often wildly tangential and impulse driven. If you ever need a boost, revisit the profiles of these amazing real people.
How This Book Is Laid Out
In chapter 1 we will review the specific symptoms of adult ADD. You will learn that while you may have ADD, you are much more than your ADD. While acknowledging the dark side of an ADD diagnosis, this chapter will begin to paint a picture for you of the bright side of ADD.
Chapter 2 will help you recognize that the most important thing you can do to cope with your ADD is to find the right environment— one that matches your profile of gifts and weaknesses. You will also learn that you don’t have to do everything well. Rather, you really only have to be good at one thing.
In chapter 3 we will use the metaphor of lifting weights to help you gain the necessary skills to pay attention to details, listen to others, and complete projects. Intimate relationships and parenting can often become intense struggles for adults with ADD.
Chapter 4 will offer some guidance on these issues. Guidance will include inspiration and activities to help ADD adults find mystery—and therefore vitality—in committed relationships and gain skills for navigating intimacy.
Chapter 5 will reframe the typical ADD symptoms of impulsiveness, focusing difficulty, and noncompliant behavior as creativity. For example, the ADD tendencies toward being “spacey” and daydreaming will be shown to promote fortuitous insight, imagination, daring originality, and intuition. Nature can provide adults with ADD the calming influence they need.
In chapter 6 we will explore vivid case studies that show the importance of connecting to nature. This chapter will also provide reassurance and positive validation for those who fear their constant need for activity and unquenchable desire to connect with nature are simply distractions rather than personal needs and style.
Chapter 7 will review the interpersonal gifts of adults diagnosed with ADD. This chapter will also provide guidance for translating inappropriate or impulsive behavior into productive contributions. Activities will be provided for channeling the interpersonal gifts of ADD in socially skilled ways to enhance relationships.
In chapter 8 we will reframe the ADD symptom of hyperactivity as a surplus of energy. You will be guided to view your surplus energy as a valuable resource. This chapter also includes awareness exercises for appreciating your energy, and action strategies for channeling your energy.
Chapter 9 will help you understand your lack of emotional control as a capacity for emotional sensitivity and expression. Specific exercises will teach you both self-soothing techniques and how to appreciate the value of clear and intense emotional experiences.
And finally, in chapter 10 we will review the pitfalls that many adults with ADD fall into. We will also explore the promise of ADD through the successful transformation of a client who applied the principles in this book. It’s time to direct your abundant energy toward your personal transformation. I’m excited for you—you’re embarking on a journey that can turn your life around!
** End of excerpt
Hope you enjoyed this excerpt and I’d be delighted to hear any comments you offer. I’m off to read the next chapter or maybe do an exercise from the book, or go read an unrelated novel, Lars Kepler’s The Nightmare, that’s due back to library soon (better check that so I don’t lose access to electronic copy), but best get a snack first and something to drink and make sure I don’t eat anything for at least 10 – 15 minutes before taking medical CBD which I can’t take with me on my travels. So back to pharmaceuticals, what were we just talking about? Oh yea, plan the sequence before I get distracted again. Like that’ll happen.
Ciao!
