The Mama Bear

I’ve already told you that Foster Mom wanted my infant sister and acquiesced to taking me too. I still have ambivalent feelings towards her, though she’s been dead for over 20 years. Maybe she became bitter as a young woman when she couldn’t have her own babies, or maybe she just was an unhappy person who grew up in an intolerant environment. Though just writing that, I wonder how it was she could be so good to my sister and so miserable to me. There are some things that really stand out in my mind.


50s style hairdo:      Elizabeth Taylor
She always wore red lipstick and had her hair done with “kiss curls” or pin curls reflecting
the hair styles of the 50s, think Elizabeth Taylor.

Standing on a chair to wash dishes, possibly in response to the school’s advice to groom me for domestic service.

The always at hand, ever ready stick to hit you with if you did something deemed wrong or inappropriate.

The after school event where Mothers and Daughters of a Certain Age were to attend together. It was “the talk” about the female reproductive system and sex. Must have been grade 5, which for me was a grade 5/6 split. I don’t remember us having a chat about this information nor was there any reference to it at any time after that.

I do remember the phrase “when you become a woman”. Quite the euphemism for bleeding to death!! Anyway…

For frame of reference, my foster Dad retired when I was around eleven, and I’m pretty sure that he wouldn’t have retired until age 65. I don’t think there was much of an age difference between Mom and Dad, so if she were between 60 and 65, that means they were in their 50s when they got us.

Let’s say, for the sake of argument, that she was 60 in 1966. If we cast our minds back to 1920 or thereabouts when she would have “became a woman”, I imagine, that talking about the reproductive system and “sex” was probably considered “dirty” talk. Think how she must have felt having to accompany me to this type of event. This is the one and only time that I can recall attending an event where it was just the two of us.

As an aside, how proactive and forward thinking of the school to even have this type of Mother/Daughter event.

I’ve already mentioned watching the Edge of Night and the Secret Storm with her after school.

I’ll leave the pièce de résistance for a future blog.

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